Eastern Promises [2007]

Director: David Cronenberg

Starring: Viggo Mortenson, Naomi Watts, Vincent Cassel, Russians

Seriously, I saw A History of Violence and thought Viggo was a total fuckin’ champ and this movie only strengthens my belief. He totally dominates this film from beginning to end. He basically plays a low level Russian mob guy trying to work his way up from being a lowly driver. He is under the wing of Vincent Cassel who plays the son of a Russian mob bigwig. Cassel does a sweet job in this film of being the spoiled fuck-up son of a prominent mob boss.

But back to Viggo… in this film, Viggo has some spine-chillingly badass moments. I’ll try to divulge as much as I can without giving away the multiple plot twists as there are a few. So, in one scene, Viggo has to take care of a body by removing fingertips and teeth. He does this with a simple pair of pliers and at one point his facial expression just exudes a calm sense of “I don’t give a fuck about anything and I’ll do what I have to do, anytime, anywhere.” He goes about his business in such a methodical way that you’re literally scared of him after 15 minutes on the screen.

Next, and this is probably my favorite little scene from the film, is a quick shot of Viggo threatening another character. After the other character verbally berates him and ultimately spits in his face, Viggo calmly removes a rag from his pocket, wipes himself off and then looks at the man with a dead stare. He then takes two fingers, puts them up under his own chin and then points to the other man. It’s easily the best non-verbal threat I’ve ever seen. I think I’m going to start doing this more often. Just in everyday situations: when I get bumped into at a bar, when I catch someone’s eye at the gym, when my mom tells me to get a fuckin’ job. You know, just casually. If it were verbally translated it would probably be something along the lines of “I have absolutely no qualms about ending your life, just so you know.”

This film also provides one of the finest fight scenes I’ve seen in a long time. Honestly, the Wachowski brothers should watch this and take notes because yes, a fight scene can be mindblowing without the use of wires and cables. Now, I won’t say under what circumstances the fight takes place as that would sort of be a bit of a spoiler, but let’s just say that Viggo, again, proves his testicular fortitude (an apt term for this fight) and then some. He literally dismantles people. This really is the fight scene of all fight scenes. I know I’m probably overhyping it but I truly found it to be one of the best I’ve seen in quite some time. My one detraction, and I’m totally playing devil’s advocate here, is towards the end when Viggo is near one of his opponents who has been down for quite some time. Viggo gets near his hand and the guy grabs Viggo’s neck with his eyes still closed and his body still lifeless ala the Undertaker circa 1995. But that little oddity aside, it’s still tops.

The film itself is excellent as well. The plot is clever with a few twists here and there that are never too far fetched. The background story is original and entertaining. The performances from Watts and others are top notch as well. Especially the guy who plays the character of Semyon, the mob boss, I found him to be very convincing. There is one line from Watts that does elicit a bit of laughter. She is addressing her uncle and says “You were never in the fucking KGB!” Her pronunciation of “fucking” for whatever reason is pretty comical. She says it like a ten year old who got permission from her parents to say it just this once! Whatever, its good for a chuckle.

Personally, I’ve seen this film a few times now and I’ve liked it more and more every time. It’s one of the few films that has come out recently that I can say that about. I ranked this film number 3 in my top ten of 2007 and I give it 8 Viggo Mortenson death threats out of 10.

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